Addiction is a powerful thing.

vondell-swain:

if you’re wondering, the reason I’ve been specifically gearing these posts toward males is

I’ve never heard a girl complain about being friendzoned

it might happen once and a while

but like

it’s mostly dudes

I think a lot of it comes from the perception in popular culture as men not really befriending women unless they want to date them

And that’s really a very silly way to go about things and it closes off a whole 50% of the population for potential platonic friendships!

So when a guy who is influenced by popular culture befriends a girl, he may think it’s obvious that he has romantic intentions because obviously why else would he befriend a girl

but that sort of view is very backwards and binary and the opposite sex/gender are people that can be friends with you just like the people of your sex/gender!

Which isn’t to say you should feel necessarily terrible if you really do want to sleep with most of the people you want to befriend! It’s not such a bad thing to be interested in people! You just have to understand that they don’t owe you any sort of “chance” just because you befriended them, and it is perfectly understandable that any sort of friendship that arose might be all they want out of you!

But because of this conflict between popular culture and reality, the idea of the “friend zone” has come about. And there’s some truth to it, sure, because plenty of women will want to be your friend without wanting to sleep with you! But that goes both ways, for both genders! The friend zone isn’t just some magical place that you get put if you don’t satisfy certain criteria in certain time to be considered a viable sexual partner. It’s just the place we all put people that we don’t want to have sex with but still want to hang out with. It’s a pretty great place to be too! Being friends with someone can still be a really great time that is satisfying for both people, even when the friendship started because of some unrequited romantic intent!

The important thing to note here is just how silly the perceived gap is between genders. It’s pretty obvious that guys and girls can easily hang out and be buddies without wanting to fuck each other. And hell, all of this so far has been assuming both parties are straight. Is there this sort of “friend zone” myth for gay men and women? No! Because it’s patently ridiculous and springs from an outdated gender binary and the way reality doesn’t match up with popular perception of romance.

Really, the easiest way to deal with a problem like this is to stop viewing gender as divisive and start viewing people as people! Certainly, you can think of someone in your life that you’re friends with that you wouldn’t want to sleep with, whether they’re of your preferred gender or not. Imagine how you’d feel if they got angry at you for not wanting to date them! Wouldn’t you feel like they don’t value your feelings as an individual?

So stop fucking complaining about nobody being interested in you. It’s probably because you can’t value anyone as a friend and view everyone you’re interested in as disposable if they don’t want to play with your dick.

vondell-swain:

the world of contemporary art, and like, the entire history of art would be nothing without people standing in front of a piece and saying “do I like this? is this good? do I dislike this? is it bad? how was this executed? how does that affect the impact it has on me? how does this make me feel? does this make me feel anything? why does this make me feel what it makes me feel? what’s this supposed to be? what’s this supposed to make me think?”

that’s like

that’s the whole point of art

to make people feel things about things

I think this is one of the reasons I can’t really get into visual art

LIke

You have to sort of put yourself out there to get anything out of it? 

Whereas music, film, books, etc, all of these don’t really require much contemplation to get anything out of them

but then while you’re busy getting stuff out of them you start contemplating them

It’s like, I actually do really get into visual art with like Watchmen (the comics for the example, but the movie too)

Because after the first read I start to notice the colour palettes, the simplicity, the complexity, the contrast, the format, how they used the format, how they broke the format. etc etc

But if you just gave me a page or whatever of it and told me to write an essay on it

Without having any prior investment

I’d be like “no?”

But now, I can think of several pages that are excellently done that I could wax poetic on for hours.

I mean yes a lot of it is just my love of narrative, but thinking about where that love comes from, it’s definitely because I don’t have to avail myself to the art, the art just sort of seeps in

wilwheaton:

“It is not the job of the protesters to draft legislation. That’s the job of the nation’s leaders, and if they had been doing it all along there might not be a need for these marches and rallies. Because they have not, the public airing of grievances is a legitimate and important end in itself. It is also the first line of defense against a return to the Wall Street ways that plunged the nation into an economic crisis from which it has yet to emerge.”

—

New York Times

Can I just say

The occupy wall street movement is pretty much my protest, like, the protest I have been waiting for

For once we have a protest that is not just for one individual policy but for the fact that pretty much everything done in the government is done to cater to corporations and rich arseholes who are only interested in milking the government for as much as they can because they know they can

And meanwhile our education systems and economy and everything are just spiraling down the drain and nobody’s doing anything about it because the people who make policy are so busy trying to appeal to uncomprimising corporations

And yeah the movement doesn’t have much direction but what it lacks in direction it makes up for with righteous fury and power and solidarity and community

We are the 99%, and we’re tired of being ignored and given small appeasements just to keep us quiet. We want real change, and that’s not something you can put in a demand.

So make fun of the people camping out in cities all over the country if you want. Call them hippies or hobos or stoners. But the fact of the matter is, they’re fighting for you. They’re fighting for us. They’re fighting a system that is completely and intolerably broken. So maybe we should start showing them some respect.

optimisticcynic:

“If not circumstance, then death will always separate the lovers, no? But maybe, this is what gives it value. If it is easily gained, if it lasts forever, what reason would we have to cherish it? It would be worthless.”

—

Leliana, Dragon Age

Just as a bit of context

This particular quote changed my views quite a bit when I first heard it this past spring

Back then I was very much “love might be fun but it never lasts so it’s never worth it”

But maybe Leliana’s right

Maybe that’s exactly why it’s worth it

So there’s your answer to #77, anon.

optimisticcynic:

Not too long ago I looked at my post count and saw I still had about 300 to go so I wasn’t too worried

Unfortunately the part of missing e that puts the blog-specific sidebar on the dash for some reason hasn’t been enabled in Chromium and I only ever tumbl on my laptop anymore so I didn’t see that I had 10,000 posts until JUST NOW

So I have some things to say

First, I’d like to thank Lydia for introducing me to this wonderful site, and Jami for really giving me people to follow and interact with. Without either of you, my life would be a great deal emptier, and I wouldn’t have such a fantastic amount of my life wasted here :>

Next, thank you all to the lovely new circles I’ve accumulated, whether it be my initial group of whedonites, those friends from the UK that I mostly met through Helena, or any of the smaller subgroups based originally on individual fandoms. All of you are great, and some of you in particular have really helped me grow and change as a person over the past two years into someone that I’m a lot happier with. Whether it’s for simple fangirling or deep discussions, you guys have been there for me in the craziest times.

Finally, I’d like to thank all of my real life friends who follow me on here and manage to not think I’m the worst person ever. I’ve really strived to keep my tumblr as a place where I can post anything, and if anyone doesn’t like it they can refrain from following me. Magically, instead of unfollowing me, more often than not I find my friends being more accepting and more honest with me about themselves. It’s really quite awesome what this site has bred.

I know I’ve not been the happiest with the website itself as of late, but I will say to the users of it that you guys are fantastic. I may have only 200 followers, but I feel like I have a meaningful relationship with nearly everyone I follow, and that’s enough for me. Here’s to another 90,000!

Reposting this because of peak tumblr hours

tommilsom:

Please read this because while it’s long, I feel it’s important.

When I started reading Catch-22, I began, as you would, with the introduction. The introduction ends by pointing out the delight of watching Yossarian jet off at the last minute, off to god-knows-where, and how it’s the perfect ending to the book.

That’s it. The introduction to Catch-22 gives away the ending of the very book it’s introducing. And I have precisely zero problem with this.

When did reading a book or watching a movie become entirely about suspense and drama and surprise? Unless the purpose of a book is to shock and surprise you, like a thriller, I propose that if you give the faintest shit about spoilers, you are going about the way you experience entertainment all wrong.

I worry that so many people these days are so desperate to be lost in Harry Potter or Doctor Who that they fail to observe one of the simplest pleasures of watching or reading a thing; sitting back and enjoying it for what it is. Looking at the cinematography and the screenwriting and the acting and going ‘god, that’s so nicely done’. Revelling in the beauty of a story well told. Not being amazed by Snape killing Dumbledore; being amazed by how JK Rowling tells you how Snape killed Dumbledore.

My enjoyment of Catch-22 was not spoiled in the slightest by knowing where it ends. I took my joy in the journey, the experience of a story being brilliantly told, not the big payoff of the ending. 

I respectfully submit that the next time you’re watching a TV show, or a new book or film is coming out, don’t try to avoid spoilers. Heck, why not read a synopsis online before you get it. Enjoy the thing for what it is. Enjoy the story for the way it’s told and the surprises that that holds in itself - I can’t help but think that it’s a far more worthwhile and ultimately rewarding experience than trying to constantly suspend disbelief and avoid the (frankly, I think, insulting) possibility that the whole thing might be ‘spoiled’ by premature expositions of the content.

If you want cheap thrills, get on a roller coaster. When you’re enjoying something like a book or a TV show, be a little more sensible about it and enjoy it for what it is; a story, beautifully or interestingly told.

I was actually (for whatever reasons unbeknownst to even me) contemplating this yesterday

And while I agree with the basic premise (If something can be “spoiled” it’s not really that incredible in the first place)

I feel like surprise is sometimes meaningful to communicate too, such as the completely sudden loss of a loved one. Granted, that might have lost some of its flair since it seems like everyone does it lately, but still, it can be incredibly effective. The death of Kazuya in My-HiME, for instance, grabs the viewers of what was a previously a mostly happy-go-lucky magical girl show by the shoulders, looks them dead in the eye, and says “Nothing will ever be the same.” That kind of emotional whiplash is impossible pretty much any other way, and while I don’t by any means think every series or novel should include it, it’s one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever experienced (and I’ve experienced it vicariously several times since, to similar enjoyment)

The truth is, life holds surprises. If we knew everything that would ever happen to us, if we were all our own Doctor Manhattans, life would be boring. One of the things that always struck me as incredibly sad about Watchmen is Manhattan’s line, “We’re all puppets, Laurie. I’m just a puppet who can see the strings.” Jon has emotions, to be sure, but by the time he reacts to things, he’s basically just going through the motions, nothing has actually come as a surprise to him since his accident. 

When we experience art, it is like another life. We immerse ourselves in someone else’s world, allow them to puppet the strings of our emotions. Certainly, there are other things in art than vicarious feelings, but these feelings are just as important as any other beauty or elegance. They teach us things about ourselves, about the artist, about the world. When we get “spoilt”, as it were, we see the strings. And more often than not, that awareness makes it all the less fun to be puppeted.